Fighting to breathe

Sometimes the shadows steal your breath

This poem was written in March of this year. It was a very intense time for me, and I was struggling to hold onto myself while I dove into my fears.

It would be unfair to say this journey of self-remembrance is all love and light. Because the shadows are just as important (in some ways more) as the illumination that is found within them.

Running away, or retreating back behind the walls, and the armor, and the masks, just keeps me hiding in the fear. With each layer removed, I am illuminating more of the truth of my being.

I call that growth.

Messy,

magical,

beautiful

growth.

Fighting to breathe

Raw edges

Bleeding for people

Who never notice

A cage

Made of other people’s fears

The missing piece of a puzzle

And still

I don’t fit

~

The flowers are so beautiful

They really bring out the cobwebs

The roaches have turned the vase into a pool

They look so peaceful

Floating on the surface

~

I CAN’T BREATHE

~

Be happy where you are

Be happy where you are

Be happy where you are

You have to buy happiness with happiness

You can’t buy it with fear

~

Tired

So

Tired

~

It’s never allowed

Saying, “I’m un-happy”

Happiness breeds happiness

I must keep breeding

~

That’s what I am

That is my existence

Give life

Fix life

Guide life

Carry life

Like it’s weightless

~

The peace of my soul

Living

in the ache of my human

and

I

Can’t

Breathe

~