My Brain is Heavy

my brain is heavy

it thinks a lot

it analyzes everything

it’s a mechanism i was taught

not through instruction

but through fear

i was taught to look for the exit in every room

to read every face i met

to always be prepared for things to go wrong

and it made my brain feel sick

heavy like an anchor pulling me down

my thoughts felt out of control

because they didn’t feel like my own

my thoughts are joy

my thoughts are freedom

but the ones i carried from others

weighed me down

now i’m here feeling my thoughts

remembering the echoes of theirs

trying not to drown in them again

they whisper and beg to stay

and my over analytic mind

thinks it must keep smashing them down

i thought freedom would come from fighting

but it came from softening instead

peace found me when i stopped running

my thoughts stopped biting

they started breathing

the ghosts still whisper

but i no longer kneel to them

my voice stands taller now

and that’s enough