The Kingdom that Always Existed
This story is part of the Indie Ink Fund Portals worldbuilding challenge.
The Challenge
“This month, we are building a world together.
Portals is a month long worldbuilding challenge hosted by Indie Ink Fund.
Writers and artists are invited to explore what happens when mysterious portals begin appearing across the globe.” Indie Ink Fund
Image made using Adobe Express
“When is your appointment?”
“Tomorrow Morning.”
“Make sure to take some Tylenol before you leave, it will help.”
“I don’t want to do it. Why can’t we just go through one of the portals and get away from here?”
“Because they are all guarded and we would never make it through. Plus, we don’t know if what’s on the other side would be any better than here.”
“They have been popping up all over the world, someone has to know. There has to be at least one that isn’t guarded.”
The woods behind our house have always been my favorite place. When I was eight, I declared these woods my kingdom, and I became its queen. It was my escape from the fear that had wrapped itself around my life.
The world had changed a lot in the last ten years. Wars were happening on every continent, some with bombs, many with laws that criminalize the innocent. Illnesses now spread so fast that science couldn’t keep up. Nature has been reclaiming herself in the most destructive ways humans have seen in decades. I never thought my life experience would include an apocalypse… but here we are.
Tomorrow, I’m supposed to report for my chip placement. Apparently, having a cell phone and internet access isn’t enough anymore. I could just run, maybe find a portal and go for it. Death would be better than prison; now that imprisoned women are forced to be incubators. But I can’t leave my mom behind, she’s all I have left.
Wind blows through the thick canopy of trees, as I weave through them on my way to my favorite spot. It’s early spring, so the pathway my steps have made over the years, has tiny flowers beginning to bud along the way. Birds sing songs that carry hope in their tune, while squirrels scurry from branch to branch checking on all of their stashes.
Through the last row of natures sentient guards, I can see my clearing. As I step into it, everything quiets. The leaves and branches that announced my arrival turn into soft green cloves and purple thyme. This is my kingdom. This is my castle.
I make my way to the middle, and sit with my legs outstretched in front of me, my arms holding me up as I lean back. A deep breath fills my lungs as I close my eyes, and a small smile crosses my face as I lift it towards the afternoon sun. I imagine what life could have been, what should be, for everyone. I can almost hear children laughing in safety, see peace where fear has taken over. Life is beautiful here. If only I could figure out how to take the beauty of my kingdom with me when I leave it.
Loud footsteps snap me out of my daydream followed by my mothers frantic voice shouting for me. “Olesia!” I jump to my feet and run towards her voice, “Mama, what is it, what’s wrong?” I find her out of breath, with sweat beading her brow. “They have changed how they do chip placement, they now come to you, and they are here now.”
“But, but… my appointment is scheduled for tomorrow.”
“They said they are ahead of schedule and decided house calls made it more convenient for us.” She says, shaking her head.
My heart feels like its racing and stopping at the same time. I wasn’t ready for this to happen tomorrow…
“You have to run.” I look at my mother in shock, “I know, it’s risky, but you have to try. There is a cave a few miles north, deeper in the woods, it goes down into a tunnel system.”
“Mom I’m not leaving without you!”
“Yes, you are. I’m already chipped, if I go with you they will find us.”
“But I can’t, I can’t… you’re all I have. How am I supposed to do any of this alone?”
“Any of what, life?” She chuckles softly, “Olesia, you have kept your love, your hope, and your joy in spite of how hard life became. You taught me how to laugh through the pain, no matter how much it hurt.” Her soft hands come up to hold my face, her thumbs wiping tears from my cheeks, “If anyone can do this, it’s you, my love.” She kisses my forehead and wraps me in a hug I try my hardest to memorize. “Now, go!” She gently shoves me away.
I open my mouth to argue some more when a voice carries through the air, “Miss Everly, we don’t have all day!”
“Go!” My mother whispers. I stand there staring at her. Heartbroken that she wants me to leave her, and angry that I have to. As I watch the tears stream down her face, I vow to live a life she would have loved. “I love you.” I say, my voice raw with emotion.
“I love you more.”
My feet trip over twigs and rocks as I race through the woods. The sun is beginning it’s decent towards my left, so I know I’m heading in the right direction. The trees thicken the farther away from home I get, making me slow down to avoid collision. I step around a particularly thick tree and see a faint glow in the distance. Is that a portal?
I speed up as much as I can, racing towards the glow that might offer freedom. The closer I get, the clearer it becomes. I can see shades of blue and purple shimmering in a circular pattern, hovering in front of a cave. “Holy shit.” The smile that breaks out on my face has to be emitting its own light. “Mom.” I whisper. If I can get her here, we can both leave. I turn around and begin racing my way back towards our house. Maybe the portal will mess with the chip and give us enough time to take it out. It could work, it has to work.
“Olesia, keep running!”
A gunshot ricochets through me. My heart stops. No, not mine, mamas. My knees threaten to give out, and I grab onto the tree next to me to keep me standing. Move Olesia, don’t let her death be for nothing.
Somehow I turn around and make my way back to the portal. I stand there staring at it trying to form a thought that isn’t drowning in grief. It’s smaller than I thought it would be, barely taller than my 5’ 8” frame.
Boots stomp through the woods behind me, alerting me to my impending capture. Instead of rushing through the portal I close my eyes and give myself a moment to say goodbye. This life, it has ached in ways I didn’t know were possible; but that ache taught me how wonderful love could feel, how precious peace could be, how vast my emotions are. For every moment of pain, there were echos of love.
“Olesia Everly! Show yourself, now!”
That’s it, that’s all the time I have to say goodbye to my life.
With one foot in front of the other, I step into the swirling vortex, and into the unknown.
The first thing I notice, is that I know this place; it’s my kingdom. The Thyme and clover are brighter in color, but I know this clearing like the back of my hand. I turn around to look at the portal, and make sure I actually stepped through it, but it’s gone.
My mind can’t wrap around what’s happening. Mom is gone. Home is gone. Life as I knew it, is gone. Not all of that is a bad thing, but the good things are gone too. Mom is gone.
A deafening sound brings me to my knees, my chest heaving as a ringing begins in my ears. I grip the earth beneath me, clovers and dirt my anchor. I feel unstable, unbalanced, like everything is moving while I am stuck. I’m terrified to open my eyes and see what caused that sound, but I refuse to let this life be controlled by fear.
Opening them slowly, my eyes adjust to the light to find nothing amiss. No one else has entered the clearing; even the animals have stayed away. I release the earth and stare at my hands; muddy and red from my fierce grip. “What made that sound?” I whisper.
“You did.” A soft feminine voice calls from beyond the clearing.
I jump to my feet, my heart in my throat as I scan my surroundings. “Who’s there? Who said that?” My voice is broken, it hurts. Panic shakes my limbs as I wait for whoever it is to reveal themselves.
A doe enters the clearing, regal in her stature and gentle in her footing. My shoulders lower a little as she walks towards me, trying to show her I’m not a threat. “Someone is out there, it’s not safe for you to be here.”
“Your kindness is noted Olesia.”
The doe… it was here voice I heard. “How?…”
“Your grief is heavy. I have never heard a creature make such a sound.” She stands before me now, her round eyes full of wisdom. “Not many humans manage to find a Solace portal.”
“A Solace portal?”
“Yes, they only appear in moments of rebellious grief.”
“How is grief rebellious?”
“You felt the weight of your grief, and kept going anyway, in spite of your fear. Your connection with this forest inspired us to offer you a place of solace.”
I take another look around the clearing, taking in the familiar space.
“We have watched you your entire life. When you claimed these woods as your kingdom, but demanded no sacrifice, we knew then that you belonged here. Though, we thought it would be many years before we would meet.”
I look back at the beautiful creature before me, “Why now? Why couldn’t you have saved my mom too? I have felt grief for years, why did she have to die for me to be worthy?”
The deer smiles, I think. “You have always been worthy, that was never a question. Solace is something you surrender to, not something that comes to rescue you. The portal didn’t start off as one of Solace; it originally would have taken you into an unknown land with unknown beings. When you paused, and allowed yourself a moment to surrender to your grief and say goodbye, you altered the portal and we did not resist your request.”
“So what is this place? How am I still in my woods, but not?”
“This is the same location, in a different phase of reality. We have always been here, you just couldn’t see us from where you were.”
I’m talking to a deer. I don’t know how to process everything this day has been.
“Come, I’ll walk you home.”
“I have a home here?”
“You have a castle here.”
“A what?!” I laugh, it feels a little broken, but it’s genuine.
We walk through the trees, the same worn path beneath my feet. “Mom would have loved this.”
The doe stops beside me, and I turn to meet her gaze, “She’s here too, you just can’t see her.”
